Conan - Would he really say that?

Frank Frazetta's iconic depiction

I'm almost done with my review of Leonard Carpenter's Conan, Scourge of the Bloody Coast. This book contains the silliest, 'romance dialogue' I can imagine ever reading in a tale of the Cimmerian. How's this:

“The view of the stars is better here, too,” Conan remarked, drawing her close again and gazing skyward. “Would that my topmast could reach this high when I try to navigate on a foggy evening.”

                “I’ll raise your topmast, and I’ll fill your sails for you,” she bragged eluding his grasp and standing upright on the paves. “First, let’s strike some of this extra canvas.” Reaching to the back of her gown, she loosened it and let it slip down around her bare ankles.

                “Then stand ready to grapple and board,” he muttered hoarsely, lunging to his feet after her.

Really? I might have thought that clever as a teenager: though maybe not. It just strikes me as completely silly.

Full review coming (search 'Conan' on this blog and you'll see the other reviews I've done so far). The book has some points, but yeesh. I am enjoying the next book up for review, John Maddox Roberts' Conan the Rogue.